We are nurturing a pointless existence.
Today, walking through Faniuel Hall, I noticed all the shit they want you to buy. Irish sweaters, "here comes trebble" music t-shirt" a fish shaped bag from China...a Harley Davidson shot glass.
Candles, candy, "magic rice"...As it is a winter day, with rainy sadness the "Hall" was empty...In the summer every inch is packed with people...Performers, kids with balloon animal hats, people eating ice cream but, in the winter we can see it for what it really is...a meaningless void..THe restaurants don't care, selling out of "Dancing Fish", leaving the Norm from cheers cut out in the front of fake Cheers so that people are drawn in to eat 19.00 cheeseburgers with limp bacon and bbq sauce.
There's nothing there for me. For the girl that walks through 4 times a week, it's just more land to cover...and right now, the quiet before the tourist storm, it's like "Kid Nation" a poorly functioning town that is just trying to stay afloat until the end of the season.
I wish this city had continued on the path it originally set out on...I wish there were interesting stores and unusual food stands and bars that weren't packed with hipsters or bankers.
There's nothing for me here.
Even the accent is gone...It's like there was some type of Boston Holocaust and all the stuff that was great, intersting and different was hauled off and destroyed and all that was left was broken glass the supreme race (that being the rich, the fur wearing, the Louis bag carrying)...
I don't think in 10 years there will be a story to tell about this city...all the natives pushed out like wood peckers by the younger and richer Warlblers...CHaracter giving way to cash and neighborhoods turned from hidden (read: affordable) gems to out of reach, shiny developments.
People letting dogs shit on top of houses that saw the city grow from dirt roads two oxen wide, teens that use this place up like a whore for 4 years before the move to NYC where they make an actual contributuoin to society.

O.K. I'm done.

We are talking through the computer.

I am in the other room and you are in the other room (depending on how you look at it)...
I think we have spent too much time talking to each other today. When we finally go to bed, I feel like there will be an apology or two..One from me and one from you...all in regards to how we both acted to day...
Me: Cranky, talkative, antsy.
You: tired, bored, moody.
Today: never had a chance.

What will tomorrow be like? Will we get coffee from MaryLou's??
Will I eat only a little cake and fall asleep because the ride from Whitman takes about 30 days. I will tell you to be careful, careful, careful...You will say I am and then continue on forgetting important details of our lives...and I will drill you on the not so important things...like pizza, my shoes and baby names (for the distant, distant, distant future.)
I love you.

Square one.

I am always surprised by the Square One Mall...tiny old Asian men with comb-overs selling "grills" for your teeth and charcoal renderings of Biggie Smalls, smoking pot with Bob Marley and Eli Whitney all in some cloudy circle of heads.
Stores like Deb (for big stylish girls), Rave (for small stylish girls),Tellos (for poor stylish girls), and Gadzooks (for Brazilian stylish girls). Each store more color coordinated than the other with shirts in the window that let you know exactly how good a lover the wearer is.
I am surprised by the food court, that offers no recognizable choices...and by Old Navy which is also currently offering no recognizable choices (unless you like/need urban, off the shoulder, Safari wear).
The general shopper at this mall is worlds different from the shoppers at the South Shore Plaza (the mall of my youth). The S.S.P. is packed to the gill with Coach bag toting teens off to buy more coach bags to tote. The "Plaza" also has an abundance of moms in sporty vests with equally as sporty hairdo's and cars.
I sometimes think that the Square one Mall and the Cambridge Side Galleria are ugly twins...both are ugly but, sadly...one is uglier and the uglier twin is mos' def' the Square One...there are a lot of "queen sized" people there, a lot of tweety bird clothing worn, more teens with bad facial hair.
I am just always surprised by the Square One mall....